And alone.
It's really quite overwhelming to feel alone in a city of over 13 million people.
There are so many sites and sounds to absorb and no one to share it with. I think the next few days will be difficult, especially as I've already paid for a one bedroom spot by myself. But I'm hoping soon to move to a dorm style room and hopefully meet some fellow travelers. Otherwise, I'm really not sure how I'm going to get through this.
But, then again, I guess it's o.k. if I don't, right? The point is I did it, I'm here. And if I have to suddenly bale and head to Darjeeling to stare at the mountains or the Taj Mahal and then jet home as fast as I can. It's fine. Right? Honestly; It has to be, or else I feel trapped.
But for now, I'm trying to calm myself down and find things to help. I'm going to the Mother Teresa orientation today at three so hopefully I can meet people and set up a volunteer schedule to ground me. And maybe I'll bale on the room after tonight and move into a dorm. And maybe I'll find a really good meal and cup of chai.
And maybe that will calm me down so I can start to tell you about all the things I'm seeing. It's really so so amazing.
The email from mom with these quotes helped:
"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face... you must do the thing you cannot do." Eleanor Roosevelt
"I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas. They've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the color of my mind." Emily Bronte
Think of me often. I need everyone right now.
2 comments:
you can do it kate! it's really hard at first but hang in there. the first few days are overwhelming but you'll find your groove. when you're lonely and have free time go find a modern coffee shop and bring your journal.
This temple looks really amazing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dakshineswar_Kali_Temple
You are daring to do something that not many other people would consider. You took a leap of faith in yourself and there you are, in a different country, facing so many possibilities and adventures and experiences. I am so proud of you. What you're feeling is normal, but you're never alone, because your friends and family are thinking of you constantly. So embrace this moment as part of your journey, as the part where everything is new and unfamiliar, because it never lasts. It's kind of like learning how to walk for the first time. And soon you will be running all over the place :)
I love you so!
-ames
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