So I got in a fight with a nun today...

...but she totally started it.

Seriously.

Does that make me the worst volunteer in the world? Maybe it's the nuns. I did better when I worked with the Buddhist monks. They at least thought I was cute. :)

So here's the story.

I decided to go to the school again because I felt bad that when it comes to teachers, the kids just have no consistency. And I don't feel like they deserve that (These are orphans by the way who have been rescued from off the street). But when I got there today I was the ONLY teacher who had shown up and there were like 18 kids screaming and hitting each other and running all around. One of the toddlers had made her way in to the room so I picked her up to run her back to the nursery so I could get order in "my class." (not that it's really a class, and not that any one has told me what I'm supposed to be doing aside from "teaching the children." - with such flexibility I'm thinking of teaching them the quadratic equation and maybe reading some Homer?) From what I can guess, our point of being there is to perhaps surround them conversational English? That's all I can figure because no one has told me any agenda whatsoever. So anyways, I'm carrying the child into the nursery and the nun comes running out at me and yells "you're not supposed to carry them, it will spoil them!" And she seemed really mad (the other volunteers had warned me that she can be a bit mean and they try to avoid her.) I said that's fine, but what's not fine is that there's no teacher and I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing and can she help me? She tells me, "just go get the children in order." And then shoes me away.

An hour later I've decided to do a simple English lesson, namely have them write their names and introduce themselves - they throw a fit and one girl starts crying because she wants to color and I say that they can't color until they finish their work. So the nun comes running in, totally yells at me again and says that I shouldn't expect one of the girls to be doing any work because she's not an actual student there - she's apparently just hanging out.

I do not like being yelled at. Especially in front of the children. So I got angry with her and replied; if no one tells me what to do how would I know who is supposed to be my student or not - and then we went back and forth for a while. I'm sure you get it. We were a bit squared off. Not fisticuffs or anything mind you, but neither of us were backing down. Eventually she just turned and left. But the kids totally listened to me after that. So at least that was good :) We got through the lesson and even did a bit of the subtraction work. And one of the Bengali ladies who works there who saw the fight came up and rubbed my back and said, "don't be sad." Which helped. And the volunteer from Belgium came up and whispered, "I don't support her at all." Which helped too. And then I ate a cookie and some chai and felt bad for fighting with a nun. And not only that, I'm supposed to be the volunteer and supporting the program, so it feels bad that I got angry. After only two days! Sigh. I think it might be best if I worked someplace else. Am I a really horrible volunteer or what?

I ran into Tiphane, one of the french girls later that works at a different house and she said, "hey, I heard you got into a fight with one of the nuns?"

Geez.

Anyways, hung out with the french guys in the courtyard today, then went to Kalighat (home for the destitute and dying). The nun there is really nice, by the way, and we get along fine.

I gave massages today. Some of their arms are so small that I'm afraid they will break in my hands. Others have skin pealing off and lumps the size of baseballs in their arms. Others can barely flex their fingers, and some can't sit up at all. I held a woman's head in my lap and fed her curried potatoes and bread. Then I washed the dishes, and a group of us sat up on the rooftop and watched the sun set on Kali's temple. The air felt nicer up there and we watched in silence all the people walking by. It was nice. It really is an amazing place.

I'm getting more comfortable as I meet more people. There's a foul-mouthed older British woman who lives in my complex that I met last night and like a lot. And Aneita, from Austria and I are going to go to laughing yoga tomorrow in the park. Yay!

And I've been talking to a lot of people and gathering information on places to see: A Buddhist city of calm and meditation, a Hindi holy city where the dead are taken to rest by the Ganges, a city where all the buildings are white and you have to take your shoes off to walk around the lake in the middle. And there are historical sites, and temples, and of course, my dream of Darjeeling where I can drink tea and look at the mountains.

I'm embarassed about today. But like Aneita said, "she totally started it." Sigh. Laura, are you regretting you recommended this to me?

I'm not though. For all the confusion and frustration, it's truly amazing.